Monday

Today is Monday, twelve days since surgery. This morning I went for a 4km beach run and felt great. It has been a long time since I felt like Jane.
I had a few chores at the shopping centre, Medicare, post office etc and each time I said to the attendant, "I'm deaf and I'm lip-reading you". This seems to work for me and them and I'm able to do all the normal stuff I did before.
However, I got a little cocky and as I had a late doctors appointment I got the kids Hungry Jacks for dinner on the way home. It didn't occur to me that I couldn't use the drive-thru until I was actually in it. I had to get the hubby to tell me when to say yes, no, small, orange juice etc. It was funny but we did it! So, there are a few things I can't do, bungee jump and go through the drive-thru.

                                                            Ear wound at 12 days post op

Healing

Eleven Days Post-Surgery: wound is healing nicely, already it's flat and the redness has gone. Still a little bit of swelling around the actual implant but the swelling has gone from around the ear. There is still also a bit of numbness in my ear. Tinnitus hasn't changed, still sings to me on a regular basis and I still have regular dizzy spells. Otherwise I feel great, count down to switch on starts tomorrow.

Back to Normal?

This morning I went to the beach for the first time since losing my hearing. We went for a long walk (kids and husband) and then had a swim and a play on the sand. I bought a few hot drinks from the cafe and when the man asked me a question I said "I'm deaf and I'm lip-reading you" so he pointed to the different sized cups. "Regular thanks" and he nodded. I've found that if I let people know I'm deaf and lip-reading them they switch modes and start gesturing, pointing, acting out or writing things down. Not one single person I have dealt with has ever been annoyed, frustrated or difficult with me. In fact I have only ever experienced positive reactions.

Back to the beach. It didn't occur to me until hours after we came home, that I didn't hear the sound of the water. Usually this is the best part, listening to the lapping of the waves against the shore. The beach is such a beautiful place and such a visual place that experiencing it in silence was not a bad thing. Phew!

Staples Out!

Today is six days post-surgery and I had the staples taken out and my wound cleaned up a bit. I had ten staples all together and it was not pleasant having them out but it was over and done with quickly.
The best part of the day? Having a shower and washing my hair! I hadn't washed it for six days (since the morning of my surgery) and it was so nice to have a good head scrub. I'm sure there were small animals living in there.
There is still some minor pain in the ear and the wound site is a bit tender. My surgeon had to cut my jaw muscle to get to my cochlear so my jaw hurts a bit and I can't open my mouth very wide. This should improve over time.
I told my youngest son that I had ten stitches taken out of my head today and he turned around and said "can you hear me now?". Broke my heart to say no. He has started using my iphone to type me messages when we are out (using the Notes app that comes installed on the phone).

My surgeon has told me to resume all normal daily activities such as exercising, driving, etc, but no bungee jumping. Oh well.

                                                     I'm calling this look "Punky Mother".

When things go bad .............

When life takes a turn for the worse people cope in different ways. Some turn to drugs and alcohol, some turn to God, others throw themselves into work. Me? I kept myself going with inspirational sayings. Not old fashioned, harps playing in the background type of sayings, ones that reminded me to keep going. So here are a few of my favourites:

Get up, get dressed and go anyway - this one I used many times and I was always glad I went.

Everything comes to an end, even the bad stuff - you just have to hope the end is the one you want.

What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger - this one I like the best.

It's OK to ask for help - and you know what, people like helping.

Approach life with energy, enthusiam and empathy - I stole this one from "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom but I love it.


Here's the ironic part, two weeks before I lost my hearing I asked a friend for advice on a personal goal to set myself. She suggested "listen to people more" which I thought was good at the time. I never got the chance to put it into practice. So instead, I've changed it to "hug people more". That works much better for me at the moment :)

Technology

There are two things that have helped me to communicate with others since I lost my hearing, the ipad and my latest toy, the iphone. Apple inc have clearly put a lot of thought into the development of their products to assist and support those with disabilities including sight, hearing and physical impairment. I have included a link to the Apple website explaining some of the features of the iphone for hearing impairment - I use them all!!!

Accessibility for Hearing: iphone

There are also a number of applications (apps) that I've been using to help me. My favourite is the RIDBC AUSLAN Tutor. This app basically teaches sign language and with or without the cochlear implant, sign language in the home has been a blessing to help me still parent my children. I have a saying in the house "I didn't see any manners"....

What does a cochlear implant sound like?

This website gives hearing people an idea of what I will hear when my implant is turned on. I will hear a little bit better each week. Click on "Tuning In" and play through the video with the sound on.


What does a cochlear implant sound like?

The Amazing Brain

I've just finished reading a great book called "The Brain that Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge. It describes the adaptability of the human brain and cites research conducted by doctors all over the world to confirm such. It is amazing how, when faced with change (sudden disability), the brain adjusts to the changed situation to enable us to get on with life.  Therefore, it stands to reason that I should, about now, aquire an amazing ability, bordering on genius, to compensate for my deafness.

Anyway, the book also includes interviews with the first doctors to invent the cochlear implant. When they realised that the brain could adapt and change they knew that a person could hear again using a "computer" to hear, instead of natural mechanisms. It's just a matter of training the brain to interpret the sounds coming from the cochlear implant instead of the real cochlear. That is what I am about to embark on now, training my brain to understand sounds that come from the implant. Still looking forward to the strike of genius................................

Better Days

Five days post-surgery report: I still have trouble sleeping as most positions cause pain (pulling on the wound site). I end up sleeping on my back with my head propped up on a thick soft pillow.
Vertigo is still around but because I've had it for so long I don't notice it as much and get on with things.
Tinnitus is less intense and not so noisy. It's still there but not as bad - or - I've had it for so long I don't notice it as much!
At first I missed not having the tiny bit of residual hearing I had pre-surgery. However, my head is a quieter place without it. The noises that I did hear, loud voices, dog barking, door slams, were not pleasant noises, they were tinny and muffled and often hurt my ear, so I'm happy to be in complete silence now (with the tinnitus to keep me amused).
Looking forward to the next step!

Three Days On .....

Three days since my surgery and doing a little better each day. Today is my eldest son's birthday (the last of the October birthday run) so I had to drag myself out of bed at 5am to lay out his gifts (stupid family tradition that I will stop next year!). He was thrilled, so despite feeling rotten I'm glad he had a good start to his birthday.
I had a terrible nights sleep last night, mostly because I can only sleep on one side of my head but also because the whole thing is a little uncomfortable. I also have dirty hair and can't wash it for seven days so my head is itchy as well.
The dried blood on the wound is a little itchy too but I try not to touch it too much to avoid infection.
Otherwise, just feeling tired, very, very tired, and looking forward to my post-op doctors appointment to get cleaned up.

Post Surgery

Well, I've done it! Had the cochlear implant and come out the other end!
Surgery was simple, walked into the operating theatre, jumped up on the table and went to sleep. Woke up a couple of hours later with my head wrapped tightly in a huge bandage with a tuft of hair sticking out the top. Not much pain but got bad nausea which I had heaps of medication for. I had the nausea for about 20 hours before it got any better. My jaw is a bit sore but nothing too major. The vertigo is sticking around but I have medication for that too, not sure that's it's working. 

My residual hearing is gone, beforehand I could hear the dog bark, doors slam, that sort of thing. Now I hear nothing, nothing at all. Thanks goodness I learnt to lipread otherwise I'd be in real trouble. My youngest son asked last night "can you hear me now"? I had to say no.

Otherwise, things are going well and it's just a matter of waiting for the next step. x

Not my best look!

The day before ......

Tomorrow I go in for surgery to have my cochlear implant in the left ear. Two hour surgery, an overnight stay, then home to wait for the wound to heal (and my hair to grow back!). After three months I've worked out how to be a deaf person so while I'm excited about the prospect of hearing again, I'm not looking forward to learning how to be a hearing (hard of hearing but still hearing) person again. I suppose it is just another journey I have to take!!! Stay tuned, surgery update to follow. x

Naughty Forty!

It happened, I turned 40, today in fact.

Musings

I've been rather reflective this past week, my last week in my thirties. I'v been waiting for the "devastation" of losing my hearing to come, but it hasn't. Yes, I've been a bit down, but generally I'm as happy as ever, despite nearly turning the big 40. I've proven to myself that I don't need my hearing to function as I did before, yes, it's harder, but not impossible.

Last night I had a small gathering, the inner-circle and family, for a birthday celebration for the two boys and I. It was wonderful seeing everyone and the kids had a ball with their friends. My eldest had a few mates sleep over after the party. Husband tells me they talked all night, I didn't hear a thing and had a blissful sleep. It was also a great lip-reading environment, not one pad or pen in sight!

 I shopped for the party (driving again as of yesterday thank goodness) and I'm sure that not one of the shop assistants had any idea that I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. Even the deli man chatted away while I bought ice and I just nodded and said "really" and it seemed to be the right response!!

Then I was up at 6am to head off to the local flea market with a friend. I just asked stall holders to hold up their fingers to show me how much things were. I got some great designer pieces for a few dollars each.

Tonight I am heading out for an intimate dinner with my husband. Tomorrow it's off for breakfast and a shopping trip to Tiffanys, thanks to my generous friends and family for your contribution to the "Tiffany Fund".

I read on other people's blogs that they become socially isolated when they lose their hearing, I'd say the opposite has happened to me. I've had more invites and requests to visit over the last three months than ever before in my life.

Life doesn't need to change, just tweaked. x

Things I Miss ....

I miss hearing the rain fall.

I miss hearing birds sing in the morning.

I miss hearing the kids say " I love you".

I miss hearing waves crash on the shore.

I miss knowing why everyone is laughing.

I miss hearing the magpie before it swoops to peck me on the head!

Tribute to Friends and Family

It has now been three months since I lost my hearing. It has been at times frustrating, tiring and depressing. However, by far the most overwhelming part of my experience has been the kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity of the people around me. I underestimated how wonderful people can be.


In the first month my house was filled with flowers and chocolate. These were lovely and I enjoyed the sensory pleasure of having my house filled with beautiful blooms and the other sensory pleasure of stuffing my face with chocolate. I also had people drop off meals for the family and bring presents like whiteboards, magazines, books and DVDs. As I couldn't drive (vertigo) I had friends offer to take the kids to school and back and then they would take me out for a coffee as well.
As word got out about my hearing loss I recieved cards and emails from people sending me their best wishes for a positive outcome. These came from family members, work colleagues, the Principal of my children's school, my parent's friends, the soccer club where my son plays, school mums, friends I haven't seen for years, and even ex-boyfriends. My family were there every day, in one form or another. Either offering to drive me to medical appointments, buying me gifts, just visiting, and emailing every day to keep me connected.

I also contacted some people online in the same situation as me and they have been very supportive and understanding, having already been through what I'm experiencing now.

Three months on and I still recieve emails and texts from people checking on how I'm doing. Every week I'll get a text from someone asking how I am. These are people who have their own worries, stresses and families but still have enough time to care about me.


When this all happened I thought I was so unlucky, that the universe was against me. Now I realise that I'm the luckiest person alive and that no matter what happens to me I'm surrounded by people who will take care of me and ensure my happiness.
Thank you x

Cheers to the Ears!

Eating Out

It's now the October school holidays and the start of my family's birthday month.

We have celebrated my brother's birthday at a vegetarian cafe in Northbridge called Utopia where everything on the menu is vegetarian, even the beef. Going out to eat at a restaurant is the most difficult activity for me (after work meetings). It's OK if I'm dining with one person as I can usually lip-read them or we use the ipad. Any more than one and it's like I'm not really there. I feel almost like a ghost, watching people but not able to interact with them. I can't join in their conversation as I don't know what they are talking about and I don't know when there is a break in the conversation to have my turn speaking anyway. So I busy myself with the menu, play with my mobile phone, look around at other people in the restaurant and go to the toilet ..................... what else can I do????

Today it is my youngest son's birthday. He turns seven today! He wants to see a movie which is fine and I'm looking forward to taking him except I know that movies don't come with subtitles. I'll have to make a note to lobby the cinema industry to have special screenings of new movies for deaf people with subtitles. Maybe I can get away with taking a book?