A second cochlear?!!

My audi has asked me if I would consider a second implant. I currently have one on the left side but now the experts think I should think about having the right side implanted. I have been profoundly deaf in my right ear since I was about three years old, or for as long as I can remember anyway so this is a big issue. It was a no-brainer getting the implant in the left ear that suddenly went deaf 18 months ago but getting a second ear done is an entirely different thing. I don't know why exactly, maybe because my brain doesn't acknowledge that the right ear even exists!
I don't know what I will do.

The Funeral

I thought I'd had all my "first" experiences as a deaf/hearing person but yesterday I attended my first funeral since going deaf. Two things stood out for me. First, I couldn't hear a thing, not a single word, second, I wasn't sad mostly because I couldn't hear anything! I couldn't hear the lovely things that were said about the deceased person, I couldn't hear it when the speaker choked back their tears (usually the thing that sets me off crying at a funeral), I couldn't hear people sobbing, and I couldn't hear the hushed discussions at the end of the funeral. It just wasn't the same. I hope that people don't think that I'm unfeeling, without the sensory input of sound my emotions are not as aroused as they once were, hmm.

Bored Room Meetings

I attended a four hour boardroom meeting yesterday on audit compliance. I know, you're feeling sorry for me, four hours on audit compliance is enough to bore anyone! That wasn't the issue though, think from the perspective of a deaf person on this one. The board table was full, that's 18 people, all talking at rapid speed about complex concepts and then, get this, someone brings in a fan and plugs it in right behind me! I think they did this, not to cool everyone down, but to make the situation just that littlest bit harder for me. Honestly, four hours of listening effort left me totally exhausted. My tinnitus hit the roof, I had a headache and I couldn't wait to get out of there, remove my CI and take a deep breath. OK, then I followed it up with chocolate, that always works :)

Sensory loss all over the house!

My youngest son needs glasses. He was tested yesterday and has a sight impairment. That means that four out of five of my family members have a sensory impairment. It's the deaf leading the blind all over again!

Flat at the Post Office

So there I am standing in line at the post office and I finally make it to front of the line. Standing there waiting to be called and ................ I go flat, literally. Mad rush to change my battery so I can hear when I'm called for my turn.......... too late. The person behind me taps me on the shoulder, oops, I've been called, ah well.

A day in the life of .......

This is my day:

6.30am: still asleep, dreaming of hundreds of paparazzi taking my photograph.

6.31am: wake up and realise that the paparazzi dream is actually my iPhone flashing to wake me up. Press snooze on phone and go back to sleep.

6.45am: wake up again, disappointed that I'm not a celebrity. Check who is in bed with me. I don't hear people coming or going so it could be any one of my family members, or none, or the dog.

6.46am: reach over and grab iPhone from bedside table and check emails and messages. Have silent (from my end anyway) conversations with family members wandering in and out of my bedroom.

6.47am: annoyed family members grab my cochlear implant, hook up the battery and hold it out for me to put on. Sound kicks in and I have to officially start my day.

6.50am: take CI off again and have shower. CI stays off for half an hour while I have wet hair which means family members generally leave me alone to get ready for work (yay!).

7.45am: sit down to eat breakfast and read paper. Turn off CI so I can read newspaper in silence (bliss!).

8.10am: turn CI back on and leave the house for work.

8.30am - 4.30pm: work, with the ability to turn off CI when the office gets too noisy to concentrate. I hang it over my computer screen so everyone knows "Jane's switched off".

5.00pm - 8.30pm: general evening activities, dinner, cleaning, ironing, homework, read a story to the kids and put them to bed.

8.30pm - 9.30pm: studying or internet time with CI switched off so I can concentrate. Charge flat CI batteries in charger.

10.00pm: take battery off CI, put CI in drying machine (to suck moisture out of it) and go to sleep. Generally sleep through EVERYTHING, including storms, street parties, noisy neighbours, dogs barking, rain, loud cars, snoring ....................... dream I am a celebrity surrounded by paparazzi .........

I can read your mind .......

I tell my (adult) students that the cochlear implant allows me to read their minds. I've been teaching at TAFE for so many years that most of the time I know what questions the students will ask before they ask them. The other day a student put up her hand during a lecture to ask a question and I pretended to adjust my CI to read her mind and told her what the question was that she was about to ask. I was correct and she gasped in shocked disbelief. Now I've got the rest of the class wondering if I really can read minds, a very handy skill to have as a teacher.