Wednesday 30 November 2011

Every Day

Being deaf requires thought in how to navigate the every day. When I get up in the morning I'm deaf. I hop straight in the shower and wash my hair, still deaf. I don't put my CI on until my hair is dry so essentially, for the first half hour of the morning I'm deaf. This means that my communication with the family is limited until my hair is dry and I have the CI on.
Then when I'm heading out the door for work I need to make sure I have a charged battery (mine always die right in the middle of something important). I also need my remote control which controls the settings on the CI. I use this to turn sound up and down or change the setting to match the environment I'm in (noisy, quiet etc).
Once at work I find that I need to be more alert. I can't tell who is talking to me unless they are standing in front of me which is tricky in an open office. Sometimes I'll go walking around the office trying to find the person talking. I also can't hear if two or more people talk at the same time (common problem in an open office with seven women who are all good friends). I also spend the day saying "bless you" to any noise I hear just in case it's a sneeze. I don't want to appear rude!

When I sit down for a meeting I need to think about where I'll sit to maximise the chances of me catching sound. For me that means that other people have to be on my left side as my right ear is still deaf. Therefore, I make sure I'm early to every meeting so I can choose the best seating position.

In the afternoon it's time to pick up the kids from school. If it's windy then I'll avoid stopping to talk to people as the wind makes it impossible to understand speech. The kids will start talking to me, telling me about school things but we have to wait until we get in the car where I can block outside noise.

In the car, I can't have the radio on as I can't understand speech with noise in the background and the radio is the worst.

Back at home, all is well again unless there is a knock on the door or the phone rings .....................

Saturday 26 November 2011

Milestones

Two and a half weeks since switch on and I've nearly ticked off all my hearing milestones. This weekend I watched a movie on the TV without text. I have to be hooked up to the TV using my audio cord which means that nobody can watch the movie with me because the sound is directed straight to the CI. I've also watched a movie at an outdoor theatre and while I didn't get all the dialogue, I got enough to follow the storyline and enjoy the movie (OK, it was a kids movie but small steps people). 

I also heard the phone ring yesterday! It rang and I just stood there watching it, not knowing what to do with it. Do I answer and risk not hearing and hang up on the person? I let it go to the answering machine but low and behold, I heard the message too!!!

I also went to the shopping centre with my eldest son to get some shoes for him. As we were looking in a shop, two retail assistants smiled at us and I smiled back. When we left the shop my son said "that lady in the shop must think you're really rude because she asked you how you were and you ignored her".  I had to explain that he now had to listen for me and either tell me what people say or explain to them that I can't hear well. He's really embarrassed to do either. Early days.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Mapping

I had my second mapping appointment today which means I had a tune-up. Each time this happens voices are a little more clearer. People are starting to lose the chipmunk sound now and they sound more like themselves. Voices are still a little high pitched but still clear. My audi tells me that sounds will always have a robotic sound but over time will sound more natural. I have to remind myself that I'm not hearing with my ears (like using a hearing aid), I'm using an electronic device to send electical impulses directly to my brain. That still spins me out. If I can't hear someone clearly, instead of saying, "talk in my ear", I'll say "talk in my microphone".

I've attended two work meetings (I chaired one) over the last two days and I've understood about 98% of what people have said. Sometimes I have to ask people to repeat what they've said but even hearing people do this. I've been singled sided deaf all my life, so I usually miss bits and pieces anyway. With the CI on I feel comfortable and confident communicating in the work environment.

I also went for a run this morning with my CI (Lucy) on. While I felt more confident being able to hear, I couldn't work out what most of the sounds were. Animal sounds are the hardest to work out as I usually can't identify the animal or where they are. Birds are very difficult. Car engines on the other hand are very clear and I can identify a car horn.

Hearing with the CI takes a lot of concentration and effort and I am very tired at the end of each day. I've decided that a weekly massage is a good hearing reward, starting tomorrow!

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Sunday 20 November 2011

Update

An update on my progress:
This week is the third week since my switch on. I think I'm doing OK. I have a list of things that I want to hear again and I'm slowly ticking them off. My list includes watching a movie without using the text (almost there), listening to my seven year old read a story, follow a conversation in a restaurant (tried it Friday night but not ready to tick that one off yet), have a clear conversation on the phone (people stopped ringing the home phone months ago so I haven't heard it even ring yet) and listen to the radio and follow a song I haven't heard before.

There are a few noises that drive me mad (water running, the dog barking) and I automatically reach up and block my ear with my finger. It takes me a second to realise that my ears are now for decoration and sticking my finger in the ear has no effect on sound, but grabbing the coil off my head does! While I'm discussing the dog barking, to my brain she sounds like a baby crying. It's a very high pitched noise and I never realise it's the dog until I see her barking.


There are also a few girly things that need to be considered when getting a cochlear implant. Firstly, there isn't a lot of room for sunglasses so I can't wear sunglasses that have thick arms. I also have to think about wearing hats. They can't be too tight against the coil and they can't sit too low or they rub against the microphones on the processor. I also can't fluff up my hair or give myself a quick finger comb as I always end up knocking the coil off (the magnet isn't that strong). I also had to cut my hair as I couldn't tuck it behind my ear anymore like I've done all my life.
Another annoying problem is that the batteries only last a day or two and usually decide to go flat in the middle of a movie or half way through a work meeting. I carry a spare battery with me but I've got to pause my life, change the battery and then continue on.

Every day sound gets a little clearer and people sound less like a chipmunk. The sound, especially a voice, is still very robotic and not natural sounding. I still struggle to hear well, and it's impossible when two people are talking at once, a bit like listening to an answering machine message while someone is talking to you at the same time.
 I ask my husband all the time, "what's that noise?" so I know I'm still learning to hear again. Slowly, slowly, as my mother always says (she with hyperactive tendencies). x

Best of Both Worlds

Having a cochlear implant gives me the best of both worlds, the hearing world and the deaf world. They are very different worlds and each has advantages and disadvantages. A CI means I can choose which world I want to be in at any given time.
Here are some examples.
It's very handy to be able to hear when out to dinner with hearing friends. It's also very handy to be deaf when the seven year old is having a crying tantrum (is it wrong that I whip off the CI when he does this?).
It's really handy to have hearing going through the take-away drive-through (see earlier posts) but great to be deaf when the husband starts snoring at night.
 It's nice to be hearing when my twelve year old wants to tell me about his day but I love to be deaf when an annoying kids TV show is on and I want to read the paper in peace.

Imagine having the choice to either hear everything or hear nothing? It's makes for a very peaceful night's sleep :)

Thursday 17 November 2011

Child's Play

My youngest son has discovered a new game to play with mum. Take mum's CI (cochlear implant) off, put mum's CI back on, take mum's CI off, put mum's CI back on, take mum's CI off .......... Finding the magnet in my head and watching the coil attach itself to it provides hours of amusement.
It's not only my youngest son that has found my CI a new form of fun. My eldest has experimented with sticking fridge magnets to my head, again, hours of amusement.
It's a new way of bonding with my children but I'm happy that they are comfortable with the CI and able to laugh and have a bit of fun with it. As long as I don't walk out the door with a "Kevin's Lawmowing" magnet stuck to my head!

Monday 14 November 2011

It's all about you....

Now that I can hear again I'm starting to think about the changes other people have had to make for my hearing impairment. Apart from the obvious ones like writing or typing a conversation or learning to speak slowly and clearly; friends and family changed their communicative behaviour when around me.

They became so good at it that they still do it, even though I can hear them now. My husband and youngest son are still signing, pointing and tapping me on my arm to get my attention. This morning my husband tapped me on my arm and then waited for me to turn around and face him before he spoke. I didn't face him so he tapped again. I eventually had to remind him that he could just speak and I would listen. My youngest son still 'mouths' words so I can lip read him. I have to remind him to speak! My eldest son hasn't stopped talking. We haven't really spoken in three months and he has a lot of talking to make up.

My work friends are still using their hands to enhance meaning and writing things down. Some are still asking "can you hear me?" like they just can't believe I can go from profoundly deaf one day to hearing the next.

So far, in the last five days I've listen to the radio and recognised songs, I've used the phone (my beloved iphone) with an audio cable, I've listened to music through a speaker while exercising, I've socialised happily and easily participated in conversations, I've watched TV and understood about half the spoken words (still have text on to help), I've heard a knock on the door, and I've heard people in other rooms of the house. This cochlear implant is truly a little miracle. Imagine, deaf one day, hearing the next!
x

Friday 11 November 2011

Three Days On

It's now three days since I got switched on. I've been wearing the processor as often as I can to expose my brain to sound. I take it off last thing at night and put it on first thing in the morning.
Voices are sounding more clearer now but they are still robotic and high pitched. My husband sounds cute with his little squeaky voice.


 I can hear things like the kettle boiling, the toilet flush and people talking in the next room. I don't know what they are saying but I know they are talking.
I made a phone call to my mum last night. I used my mobile and the audio cable that comes with the CI. I could hear what my mum was saying as long as she spoke slowly and clearly.
I can listen to the radio now too. I can recognise songs and can hear the words clearly. I really missed music so this is very exciting.

Wednesday 9 November 2011

Switch On

Today was switch on where the audiologist turned my computer on. As soon as she turned it on and everyone started talking at me I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself. Everyone sounded like chipmunks with their little high pitched squeeky voices. I was expecting Darth Vader, not the chipmunks! As expected, I could hear what my family were saying. The first thing I heard was my husband asking "do you want sushi for dinner?". To which I replied "yes!".
It's a very robotic sound but not so unpleasant that I want to take the processor off. I can only hear people when they stand in front of me and talk slowly and clearly. I can't hear anything or anyone more than a metre away but that's enough to have a conversation.
I have been given a suitcase full of accessories including batteries, cables, a travel case, a dry-store case, charging station, covers for the processor, spare wires and various little spare accessories for the processor.
The back of my ear (the surgery scar) is a bit sore after wearing the processor for the last two hours so I'm letting it just dangle at the back of my ear for the moment.
My youngest son has spent the last three months signing and speaking so I can lip-read him, so I've had to remind him several times to talk to me.
So far, I'd have to say, so good.
........and it's on!

Monday 7 November 2011

Funny for Some

I was busy doing housework last weekend and I decided to give the whole house a good vacuum. I was in the bedroom, giving the floor a going over when my husband walked in and started laughing. "What are you laughing about?" I said, he looked at me and said "you know that vacuum isn't turned on?". Damn!

Friday 4 November 2011

The Effort

I mentioned a few posts back that my social life has doubled since going deaf, while others, who lose their hearing suddenly, report a loss of social life and self confidence. I've been deaf for three months now and I'm only just beginning to understand why this happens. It is simply exhausting to communicate with hearing people. Especially when you haven't built up the skills (lip-reading) needed to aid that communication. While my lip-reading is good, it's not great and there is no way I can follow a conversation easily. I also can't lip-read everyone. Young children, people with thin lips, people who mumble and people who talk too fast are impossible to read. Lip-reading also requires you to watch people's mouths all the time and sometimes this feels creepy, especially when I've always looked people in the eye.
So rather than face the stress and trauma of trying to communicate in the outside world, sometimes it's easier to remain in the inside world.

The Final Countdown

Less than a week before I get switched on. Today has been a frustrating deaf day. I've boiled the kettle dry several times, I've not been able to understand what my youngest was wanting (turns out he wanted me to make a paper plane out of a perfect square - how could I possible get that!!!), I've wanted to make several phone calls but can't and I left the dryer on for a lot longer than intended. Needlesss to say, I'm looking forward to being switched on and joining the world of the hearing.
I'm now 16 days post-op. The wound behind my ear has healed nicely but the wound on my head is still a bit tender and sore. The feeling in my ear has come back but I still get jaw pain now and again. I'm also very very tired despite sleeping well at night.
Here's the weird bit. When I had my surgery I lost all my residual hearing. Well, today, I got some back. Yesterday I couldn't hear myself clap, today I can. Not sure what's happening.