Family Fun?

Some families play charades because it's a fun game the whole family can enjoy. My family play charades because we have no other choice.

 In earlier posts I've mentioned the unnatural need of all my family members to want to speak to me while I'm in the shower or bath. I have young children, I haven't washed in peace for over ten years.

Anyway, I was having a lovely relaxing bath this evening and in jumps the youngest to wash himself. I spent the next twenty minutes trying to guess what he was trying to tell me while he spelled out words in the air, made gestures, hand signals and tried mouthing the words very slowly. I thought he was saying 'a mouse ate my pants in the spa' but it ended up being 'when is the Stars wars movie out?' Hmmmm.

Then the other kid comes in. He put some more thought into his routine and handed me a towel, pointed to my hands and made a rubbing gesture with his (dry your hands) and then stuck his hair in my face (feel my hair, I need more conditioner).

Then the husband walks in, chatting away. At that point I got out of the bath. Most exhausting bath I've ever had!

New Year Decisions

It's nearly time for me to return to work for the new year. I've had a bit more time off than usual due to my abdominal surgery but after the kids return to school next week, I'll be back to work the week after.

I have a few decisions to make regarding my work this year. I normally have two jobs, one as a full time lecturer in Education and another as a relief teacher with children with special needs and early childhood children. I'm not sure how I'll go lecturing as I haven't attempted to take a class since going deaf. Now that I have the cochlear implant, lecturing will be easier, obviously, but I'm not sure it will be the same. I'm yet to discover the strategies I'll have to employ to get the job done.

My other job as a relief teacher is a bit tricky. In WA, relief teachers have to work a minimum number of days each year in the state system to maintain state registration. The school where I work with children with special needs in a state school. The school where I teach early childhood students is a private school and I don't have to have state registration to work there. This is my problem. I really don't think I can continue to teach in early childhood. The classrooms are noisy places and young children have quiet voices and tend to mumble. No really, most young children do not speak clearly and loudly, they mumble their words and some even hang their heads while talking. They don't know how to talk to adults. Clearly, I can't teach hearing children whom I can't hear.

Anyway, the other classroom in which I teach, in special needs, has only five students and most are non-verbal. This is a bonus as a non-verbal child doesn't speak and therefore I don't have to worry about hearing them. The education assistants (teacher aides) however do speak and it is vitally important to be able to communicate with them. My other issue is that last year I heard the education assitants talking about another teacher who was hard of hearing in a, how should I say, not very nice way. Now I'm faced with returning to teach in this classroom as a deaf teacher knowing full well how the education assitants feel about deaf teachers!!

My other problem is that schools ring for relief teachers. I can't take a phone call at the moment so how do they call me for work????

What do I do?

Give up relief teaching (which I love) and therefore my teaching registration (that I've worked hard to keep) and also valuable teaching experience that contributes significantly to my lecturing job? Do I have another option?  I don't know that I do ............................

The Hairdressers

One activity that is difficult when wearing a cochlear implant is going to the hairdressers. Since I went deaf in August 2011 I haven't been to the hairdressers. Yes, that's six months. No, I haven't let myself go. My husband has been giving me a regular trim (he's a trained hairdresser) and my kind sister-in-law (also a trained hairdresser) has been putting a natural colour through my hair. For the new year though, I felt I needed to bite the bullet and have a make-over so I booked myself in to the hairdressers for the full works. I knew that once I had the colour dye put on my hair I would have to take off my cochlear implant and the rest of the appointment (3 hours) I would be deaf. I was sure to tell the hairdresser everything I wanted before I took the CI off!
I had to start lip reading again and it was a challenge because I was looking in the mirror, reflection lip reading!
When the hairdresser had cut my hair and dried it, I put my CI back on while she styled my hair. I just had to keep an eye on those hot tongs to make sure she didn't melt my magnet. Whenever she ran the comb through my hair it would catch on my wire and pull the CI off.
We both survived the experience and and I was able to tick another thing off my "Deaf To Do List". I'm slowly ticking them all off and also crossing out the things that I can never do again (go through a fast food drive-thru for example!). x

Audi

Another audi appointment yesterday. She reported that I'm hearing soft sounds better than ever which is very useful during conversations. My processing of loud sounds has not changed that much. I'm nearly at the three month mark since having the CI turned on so I can expect more changes in the quality of sound that I hear for another nine months yet. In a few months I'll be having a hearing test to see how well my brain is processing sounds using the CI. This will be interesting.
I had to go to the shops today for a few things so I had a quick shower, dressed, dried my hair and left the house. I started up the car and had a feeling I'd forgotten something. I checked for my sunglasses, purse, mobile phone, all there, and then suddenly I remembered - my CI!!! Could have been a problem in the shops, "sorry, I've left my ear at home so I can't hear you".

Where would we be without support?

In my earlier posts I mentioned how wonderful and supportive my work colleagues have been since I went deaf in August. Yesterday, I was short listed for a training award and the person who nominated me for the award was one of my colleagues. The interview panel sent me a copy of the nomination she wrote and I was so touched that she mentioned how I'd continued to work on a big project while going through the trauma of going deaf and having the CI surgery. I'm sure anyone in my postion would do the same but it's so nice to be recognised. So, thank you Jo, your continued support means the world to me. x

Good Clear Sounds

Good clear sounds today, well, better sounds anyway. It always sounds robotic but I remind myself that I am using a computer to hear so that is to be expected. I have another tune-up this week (tomorrow) so I'm really looking forward to seeing what my progress looks like on my auditory maps. These show me how my range of sound are increasing over the weeks/months. It's really interesting. I can now hear about half of what a hearing person hears in their one ear, so a 1/4 overall of what a hearing person hears. This doesn't sound like much but to a deaf person who started with about 5% distorted residual hearing, it's amazing.
On a side note, I'm recovering well from my recent abdominal surgery. I feel like I've had to start over twice in the last six months! While I'm usually an active person, having the two surgeries so close together has slowed me down and I'm keen to get moving again. I have to wait a whole six weeks before I can run again. Oh well, I've done it before, I'll do again (hopefully for the last time in a while).

Five Months

It's been five months since going deaf. Sometimes, I still can't believe it. I'll wake up in the morning and think "holy crap, I'm actually deaf and this will last forever". My hearing can't get any worse as it's already as bad as it gets. It's so final; there is no treatment like an illness, no magic cure (although you could argue that the CI is a cure but, not really), no special medicine, this is it. For the rest of my life I will listen to people talk via an artificial device attached to my skull. It's a fairly major "holy crap" moment.

I've taught myself to shake these thoughts as quickly as possible, it would be too easy to dwell on what I've lost instead of thinking about what I've still got. xx

Daily Routine

This is my summer holiday daily routine:

7.00am: Wake up, silent. The sun or my family wake me up. I refuse to use a vibrating alarm clock. Usually my youngest son will start putting together my CI for me so he can talk to me. When I'm switched on I give the thumbs up and usually say "talk".

7.30am: Normal daily family breakfast choas.

7.40am: Read the papers with CI turned off so I can read in peace without anyone chatting or the TV interrupting my thoughts. Bliss.

8.00am: Head to the beach. Spend 10 minutes preparing CI in a plastic cover and then tuck it into a headband that I've cut a slit in so the CI can be tucked inside the fabric. Then I place my sunglasses (ones that have thin arms) over the headband and then a hat over that. My hat can't be too tight as it has to sit over the magnet.

8.15am: Beach. I don't swim at the beach anymore. Obviously I can't wear my CI swimming and if I take it off and swim I can't replace it while my hair is wet. To swim, I would have to leave the CI at home which I'm not comfortable doing yet, especially when I'm with people who usually want to talk to me (family and friends, we have a very social beach). I have to miss out on something when going to the beach so I'd rather have social interaction and listen to the sound of the waves and kids laughing than go for a swim. Often, I'll go for a beach run and leave Steve and the kids to their swimming.

10.00am: Home from the beach. Showers. I have to shower without the CI and it can't be replaced until my hair has been dried. It is more than likely that someone will want to speak to me while in the shower or while I'm drying my hair. We use lip-reading and signing during this grooming period. When my hair is dry and I'm all plugged in again there is usually a line waiting to talk to me. I give the command "talk" and we are away again.

2.00pm: Movie time. I will either watch a movie by myself plugged into the TV via my audio cable or watch a movie with the kids using the subtitles. Sometimes we will go to the cinema which is not too bad as long as it's a kids movie as they are easier to follow. Adult movies are too fast! My battery usually goes flat about half way through the movie - Murphy's Law.

6.00pm: Evening meal. We all sit down together to eat but I find it very difficult to hear during this time. Normally I'd chat to the kids, ask them questions etc but since going deaf this is such a chore as I can't keep the conversation flowing. I guess it doesn't hurt that my family have to learn to take turns speaking as the only way I can hear clearly is when there is no background noise, at all!

8.00am: Put kids to bed. I have the pleasure of reading to the youngest and hearing him say "I love you" and chatting to my eldest. These times are precious hearing times.

9.00am: My bed time by which time I fall into bed exhausted (yes, even on holidays). Put CI in drying box and turn it on, and put battery in charger. Everything is silent again.

New Sound

I've been a bit frustrated with my sound quality today as everything sounds like I'm in a large concrete tunnel. As you can imagine, this makes it difficult to focus on what people are saying. I was due for a tune-up this week but had to cancel it due to the hysterectomy surgery, so I thought this might explain the problem. However, as the day has worn on I've realised that what has changed in the actual sound I'm hearing is less like a robot sound (which is what I've heard since the chipmunks died) and more natural.
 I'm alone in the house at the moment and I'm chatting away to myself to listen to a voice that is as close to a natural voice as I've heard since August 2011. Even my dog sounds like a real-life dog when she barks!
 It still sounds a little robotic but more like a voice recording than a computer synthiesized voice. I guess, like I remember an answering machine sounds like. To those with hearing, listening to the world as an answering machine would be dreadful (um, yes), but when the alternative is silence with the odd popping sound, who wouldn't choose the answering machine?

Seems that each week brings small but significant changes and I can't wait to see (or hear) what will happen in the next month.

World's Smartest Computer

I've arrived home safely from hospital to find a parcel from Cochlear in the mailbox. For the rest of my life now I will be receiving these little parcels with various accessories in them to keep me hearing. On a regular basis I need to order implant batteries (I try to use the rechargeable batteries as often as possible but the disposable ones last longer), drying capsules and various replacement parts for my implant. In five to seven years I'll also have to consider replacing the whole thing with an upgrade. It sounds like I'm talking about a personal computer, which I guess I am in a way. My CI has it's own insurance, needs regular cleaning, runs off powerful batteries,needs regular tuning and can do things no human can - sounds like a computer to me! The only difference is that this computer is part of my body and without it I cannot lead the life I choose to lead. To me, it's the most valuable computer in the world and as such, I treat it with special care. So with the batteries and drying capsules I ordered my CI a new leopard skin cover, should go nicely with my new shoes!

Post surgery

Well, I've come out the other end of my first surgery experience using my cochlear implant. I must say, it went surprisingly well. It helped that the nurses hadn't seen a cochlear implant before and were really interested in how it worked. I taught the recovery nurse how to use it before going into surgery so she could put it on me after surgery. Just before I was put to sleep I whipped it off and put it in its little box and the next thing I know I'm in the recovery room wearing my CI.
I've had a bit of trouble hearing the nurses in my room but they have placed a deaf sign above my bed and they seem fine repeating themselves. I also let the night shift nurse know when I'm removing the CI for the night so they know to touch me to wake me for night obs. Visitors are very hard to hear but usually I do the talking (telling them all about the surgery - hysterectomy).
I'm on a maternity ward so I must say that I feel a bit smug taking the CI out at night while all the poor tired mums have to listen to babies crying all night! There have to be some advantages, right?!

Surgery

Tomorrow I'm off to hospital again for abdominal surgery. I have planned to wear my CI right up until they put me to sleep (which is usually quickly as I chat too much just before a surgery, nervous habit). I'm planning to give very clear instructions that the CI is to stay in the theatre with me so I have it in recovery. I'm sure if I should show the nurse how to turn it on and put it on my head or ask them to wake me first and then I'll put it on myself.
My other thought is during the night when normally I wouldn't wear the CI, (should come in handy in a noisy hospital ward) but with the nurses coming in every few hours for observations maybe I should wear it to sleep. I can just imagine having to say "wait", (turn on CI), "OK, talk", every few hours.
Will post post-surgery and report.

Days Ahead

During the past five months I've had good days and bad days. I usually have a few bad days per week and I have to make an effort to lift myself out of them. I guess it's a process of mourning for my own personal loss. This week however, I haven't had any bad days and I've stayed generally happy so I'm encouraged that I've come through the worst.
I still have little daily struggles and I'm still learning how to live as a deaf person with a cochlear implant. My family are also learning.
On my way to the supermarket yesterday my eldest son says to me, "I have a tip for you mum, when you get to the register, look at the person serving you and watch their lips because they usually talk to you and you ignore them". Yeh, thanks for that.
So, we get to the register and both boys are ready, the eldest says, "now watch" and the youngest is quiet standing next to me ready to tap my arm when I'm spoken to (that's his regular strategy but he doesn't even realise he does it). Sorry to say, it works, the person at the register asks me how I am and I respond like a hearing person. While I appreciate my kids helping me out with my new disability it does sometimes make me feel a little helpless, a little like a child.