This is my tip for today:
Next time you see or meet a deaf person, be nice, at least offer a friendly smile. Why? Because being deaf is bloody hard! In fact, most days, it's exhausting.
Those who have been deaf all their lives probably don't even know how hard they're working every day because they've done it all their lives and they don't know any different. However the act of listening (for those wearing CIs and hearing aids) and watching (lip reading) takes concentration and great effort. It takes just as much effort to ask people to repeat themselves (I do this ALL day), and it can become frustrating having to always explain to people that I'm deaf and have a cochlear implant (again, I repeat this all day). I'm reflecting on this tonight as today I had a big day, out of the comfort zone of my home and workplace where everyone watches out for me.
I had to catch a train into the City. I asked a train guard how many zones I needed to travel and she said something that I didn't catch so I asked her to repeat herself. I thought she said "free", so I said free, great. She then put this annoyed face on and replied with a condescending tone, "I said three". I then explained I was deaf and couldn't hear her with all the noise of the train station and she softened her tone, smiled and said "zone three". This was before 9am!
The train wasn't so bad as I knew the stations and where I had to get off. I then had to walk down the busy City streets to the law courts as I was a witness in a case. The walk presented me with all sorts of noises but I couldn't identify any of them. A bit scary actually as I also couldn't tell what direction the noises were coming from.
I finally got to the law courts and had to explain to the Judge that I was using a cochlear implant to hear. I spent two hours on the stand having to have everything repeated to me. Honestly, I felt like a small child who didn't understand what the big grown-ups were talking about. I stayed for a while after my evidence to hear what the other witnesses had to say but wasn't getting any of it so I left.
Heading home I arrived at the car park to find a parking fine on my car. This has got nothing to do with being deaf but didn't help my already frustrated disposition!!
I was then scheduled to attend a work social event but the thought of having to talk to people in a noisy social environment and look like I was having a great time and doing the secret 'copying everything you do (see previous post) in the hopes that you won't realise that I have no idea what you're talking about' thing was too much and I went home.
Got home and said to the kids "Hungry Jack's night", so the little one and I headed out to buy dinner. This was my first time through the drive thru using the CI. Regular readers will remember my previous attempts at the drive thru. Anyway, I order and then the girl taking my order says something that I don't get so I look at my son to speak for me. I thought he would say something like "small juice or no sauce". He says clearly into the speaker " hello, my mum wears a cochlear (perfect pronunciation) implant and she can't understand you when you speak so you have to say it again and be slower". Silence from the speaker, the pause lasts for a while. Eventually I say, "I'll come through to the window shall I?"
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm trying as hard as I can but believe me, it takes a lot of energy to navigate this hearing world, even with the CI. xxx
